The feeling crashes into me like a wave,
It’s unexpected yet not unknown,
I am familiar to the stabbing pain
That pounds in my head behind my eyes.
The distortion of reality begins once more.
I pick up a glass and heave it against the wall.
The glorious twinkling sound resonates in my
I breathe in deeply and repeat.
The wave knocks me over again,
I reach out to find salvation.
My arm grasps the soft pillow that held my
tears and sorrow.
I violently shake and hit it against the wall.
As I stand the memory pushes me down
and my mouth tastes my own saline.
It reminds me of the sea and I’m drowning once
I kick the door but it will not budge.
I jerk and pound like those noises in my head.
It will never end. I’m knocked down to the ground.
Enraged and enthralled my destruction begins.
It pulls me to familiar places
Where my hands took the knife and struck.
I look around my shattered world.
There is nothing but dirt and sand
When the waves leave me alone.
I lie down on the floor and stare.
When will it come back and
What will there be left to break?